Why do so many people dread Christmas? Two words: Time & Money. Most people feel like they are expected to spend a lot of each for months leading up to the actual holiday, and then when the holiday is over, people pay for it for a long time afterwards too.
Oh the joy last night eh Clayt? Carrying in the already assesmbled tree from the garage or shall I say dragging it in. I was like, why is the top half of the tree dragging behind the other half? Come to find out it was broke. Nick to the rescue, I happily used the needle nose and rigged it- good enough til next year. Now if we can just get over the eminating gas smell from the tree being parked next to the gas cans. I'm torn, not sure if I want gas scent from garage or mold scent from basement next year? A potpuri of thought until it's settled away in a few weeks after old St. Nick creeps through.....
Where in celebrating Jesus' birthday do we even get a tree from? I'm sure if I checked on Wikipedia it would have a nice story about Germans decorating outdoor trees with candles and other baubles, but why not just save the tree (be it real or gasoline-scented artifical) and drill a hook into the ceiling to hang a star from? If you want a tree, pile all those presents up into a pyramid that looks like an 8-bit tree? I'm sure the kids would be happy to help with that, since they don't have the motivation to help get the decorations out and put them on the tree.
Being it December 5th with the tree finally standing with the top more secure and not the tilt it was last night- haha funny kids "It looks like a Dr. Seuss tree." Now the joy of the season is the question, Mom, are you going to make Christmas cookies this year? and by the way, I don't want to help with making or clean up, however I am available to eat them all and leave crumbs all over the house while I sneak down the stairs in the middle of the night and crumb up the house. Not sure kids, let me check my calendar, oh look there are a few nights where I actually am home before dark but I may need to get ingredients for work parties or Secret Santa gifts so that may not be a reasonable request if eat is all you want!
Speaking of all the sweets and food, between Halloween and New years day, it is literally impossible to not gain weight. Thank goodness, because if I were the only one looking like Santa with a bowl full of jelly, I might be self-conscious. But with everyone cheating and nibbling here and there, going out for special lunches, dinners, pot lucks, making cookies and candies, I am going to be so sick of food by January that it should be a piece of cake (yuck) to get on a diet and stick with it. What am I saying? Am I actually looking forward to a diet? That's like looking forward to going to the dentist so that your teeth will be professionally cleaned.
We haven't even touched on buying gifts yet Clayt? Is that because were traumatized by the thought and blocking it? Heck we haven't even wrote a list or checked it twice yet but I do know who's naughty or nice! I have two favorite gifts I am cognizant of this year, the gift of money my older sister and I give out to those in need each year and the adopt a family gifts to those in need, and we want to get some meaningful gifts to our kids, because after all, Christmas is for kids, but how do you make your money go far and make them happy? Even the simplest things seem to cost a Grant ($50). And you have to spend roughly the same amount on them or each will notice. So if we want to get them a few things they need, a few things they want, and a few things for their stockings, you can't even touch this for less than $300 a child. And that is per kid, so at 2 it's $600. I'm just glad we don't have 4 or 5 kids. They'd have to get used to getting a shared gift. There would be no ipod for you, Wii for you, it would be "hey kids, we bought you a Wii to share!"
So on that note, I think I will take my time to get to work tomorrow and my money to my nearest Starbucks to indulge in a Caramel brulee latte with my faux Christmas cheery A$% smile! and you Clayt?
Oh, I think I'll worry about what I have to bring my new co-workers to make a good impression, sign up for something for the pot luck at work, cover for everyone while they take the holidays off, and try to see if anyone mentions anything about the real reason for the holiday. I doubt it, since people are so PC that they can't be sensitive to people who may have genuine feelings about the point of the day.
Fuggedaboutit!!
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